PART I -
It was January 1999 when she first caught my attention. I was 19 and she was 15 – long ponytailed with a mole under her chin. There was something that attracted me to her. But that was that. I was already committed to another woman – my childhood sweetheart, who I had adored since I was 8 or 9 years old. I was going to be hers forever.
In June that year, the 15 year old captured my attention once again. A month later, my childhood sweetheart called time on our relationship. It was time to move on, she declared. I didn't want to understand. But deep down, I did. I wished her the best and struggled to cope with the gaping emptiness inside me.
I decided it was time for me to move on too – and find someone else. In the years that followed, there were lots of other women. A one-time rival of my childhood sweetheart, an American, a Belgian, a Frenchwoman, an Indian – even the 15 year old held my fancy for a while. But with each new woman came the realisation that maybe the void inside me would never be filled.
The 15 year old went on to achieve great success on her professional front, even as she struggled with her tyrannical father – the sorts who would make a very evil villian in a fairytale or a Bollywood movie. A few years later, she dropped out of my radar and the world's, struggling with personal & health issues. Every now and then, I'd hear an update about her – one that she cut off ties from her father – another that she was attempting to get back to her profession.
In January 2009, 10 years after I first noticed the then 15 year old, she was back in my life – in the midst of a professional upsurge. She poured her heart out. She spoke openly about the problems she had with her father, her physical ailments & the depression that followed. Some days, she said, she didn't feel like getting out of bed at all. I couldn't help but feel for her. I encouraged her – cheered every new success – thought maybe she was the one after all who could fill the emptiness inside me. But things don't always work out the way you plan. I didn't see much of her in the months ahead. To be fair to her, she tried her best this time but maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
In the last few months, I've been seeing a lot more of her. At 28, she's more mature now and knows this could well be her last chance. At 31, I'm older and wiser too. My notions & ideals have changed. I'm not looking for anyone to replace my childhood sweetheart anymore – just for someone exciting enough to get me going for a few days/ weeks/ months. Until I come across that special someone again. I'm not sure if I will. But hope is what the world is built on they say and the now 28 year old has been giving me plenty to be hopeful about once again.
I still pine for my childhood sweetheart. It's hard not to. In the years since she left me, I'd read about her occasionally – at charity events, exhibitions, there was even the ceremony where she was honoured by her fellow professionals. Sometimes, I'd watch old vidoes and reminisce about the days gone by. I hope some day in the future our paths will cross again. But she has found her happiness away from me, with a wonderful man and two adorable children. I'm working hard on finding mine and so is my new sweetheart!!
PART II -
It was January 1999 when Jelena Dokic first caught my attention. I was 19 and she was 15 – long ponytailed with a mole under her chin and fierce groundstrokes. There was something that attracted me to this Yugolsav-born Australian resident. But that was that. I was already committed to another woman – Steffi Graf, who I had adored since I was 8 or 9 years old. I was going to be hers forever.
In June that year, Dokic captured my attention once again - stunning the world No. 1 Martina Hingis 6-2, 6-0 in the first round of Wimbledon. A month later, Graf called time on her career. It was time to move on, she declared. I didn't want to understand. But deep down, I did. I wished her the best and struggled to cope with the gaping emptiness inside me now that my favourite player had retired.
I decided it was time for me to move on too – and find someone else to root for. In the years that followed, there were lots of other women. Monica Seles, a one-time rival of Graf, was a big favourite since returning from her unfortunate stabbing; American Jennifer Capriati, whose journey from teenage superstardom to rehab and back to Grand Slam glory won her legions of fans including me; Belgium's Kim Clijsters, France's Mary Pierce, India's Sania Mirza; even Dokic held my fancy for a while. But with each new woman came the realisation that maybe the void inside me would never be filled.
Dokic went on to achieve great success on the professional circuit, climbing all the way to world no. 4 in 2002, even as she struggled with her tyrannical father – the sorts who would make a very evil villian in a fairytale or a Bollywood movie. A few years later, she dropped out of my radar and the world's, struggling with personal & health issues. Every now and then, I'd hear an update about her – one that she cut off ties from her father – another that she was attempting to get back to the professional tennis scene.
In January 2009, 10 years after I first noticed her, Dokic was back in my life – in the midst of a Cindrella run at the Australian Open, where she marched her way to the quarter-finals as the 187th ranked wild card entrant. She poured her heart out. She spoke openly about the problems she had with her father, her physical injuries & the depression that followed. Some days, she said, she didn't feel like getting out of bed at all. I couldn't help but feel for her. I encouraged her – cheered every new success – thought maybe she was the one after all who could fill the emptiness inside me. But things don't always work out the way you plan. I didn't see much of her in the months ahead as she was unable to build on the momentum of her run in Melbourne. To be fair to her, she tried her best this time but maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
In the last few months, I've been seeing a lot more of Dokic. At 28, she's more mature now and knows this could well be her last chance. At 31, I'm older and wiser too. My notions & ideals have changed. I'm not looking for anyone to replace Graf anymore – just for someone exciting enough to get me going for a few days/ weeks/ months. Until I come across that special someone again. I'm not sure if I will. But hope is what the world is built on they say and Dokic has been giving me plenty to be hopeful about once again. She won 3 back-to-back challengers on the ITF Tour last summer. She began 2011 with main draw victories at the WTA event in Brisbane and the Australian Open, then qualified for the WTA Paris Indoors and went all the way to the quarter-finals. This week in Kuala Lampur, Dokic scored her first top 5 win in 8 years with an opening round victory over reigning French Open champion Francesca Schiavone en route to winning her first WTA title in 9 years – moving back into the top 60 in the world.
I still pine for Graf. It's hard not to. In the years since she retired, I'd read about her occasionally – at charity events, exhibition matches, and there was even the Hall of Fame induction where she was honoured by her fellow professionals. Sometimes, I'd watch old vidoes and reminisce about the days gone by. I hope some day in the future our paths will cross again. But she has found her happiness away from me, with a wonderful man and two adorable children. I'm working hard on finding mine and so is my new favourite – Jelena Dokic!!
Read me at http://on.fb.me/eG4o3o; E-mail me at hareshramchandani@gmail.com; Follow me on Twitter @TennisChroniclr
